EVERYTHING!

My days have been great so now I'm waiting for a storm to drop by. Its really peaceful right now for me, only I don't mind if I got around to see people today. Oh well another day maybe, I hate sounding like I'm depressant for company. behh I got some money but I got to stop spending so fast. I'm out I gotta download my games back.

zzzzzzz

Not much going on to day I guess I'll see what CJs up even though its not good If I get pulled back in but I hate going shopping alone. Its really lonely!! Sunday morning is playing by No Doubt.

What should I do?? I hate asking people I do it sometimes but end up getting no or people flake out right before I go... Its troublesome to find close good friends. I found out Tokio Hotel is gonna come to Sweden. and I should go but again I always end up alone last time I took a chance and asked random girl when it started and got to join them. I hate going to thing myself for real.


For real I'm not jealous of people because I see every one the same but with different lifes... Only one person I envy because she has a good clean nothing wrong life at all. She could climb trees and was nice to every one she was my first best friend before I knew anyone anywhere. I don't really remember her name, but I mean it was a long time ago and She moved away. I never saw her again....>.> I said to myself never again well I let that happen it hasn't happened yet anyways.

I well give it to say 2 then I'll go alone or not, well see.

Geez too much for me

There so many things I wanna say but I can't. Now that I think about it my week is all the same but with different details and such.

Ring Ring Ring

I still more of the line hate my school its soo boring I can't find my place like this >.< Most of the time I'm clueless about everything thats going on.. The people are mean but I'm use to it so it not much of a problem.


I wanna hang out today but I'm narvous about it, Fia has my wallet and I have her pig so I need this meet up.I really want someone to talk to today anyways. Alot happend to me this week. First I almost got ran over but this time it wasn't my fault it was red light. I swear I was 2enchs away from it. I though about what if I was hit, What would that do to people?

But that don't matter so much to me now. I feel like a baka =_= I can't do much about that, I seem to get in messes then not out of them. Tooth is hurting........ hungry..... Ok I'm out

Zomg

He Knows but hes playing hide and seek EX. I just wish sometimes I knew what he was thinking.
I guess I gotta wait till the times right. I really crave his attention. >.< I've fallen in love for the song Last Night on Earth. umm thats all I can say because like I said its hide and seek, and I wont lose ;)

Time for fun

Sleep is hard when you keep having scary dreams T.T I had a dream I was in bonland and and Fia and Salman came... Fia said "Your not to come near me again" and salman was saying all the things I did was annoying and he said I should change and be like normal girls. T.T I haven't had a dream like that before..... I was allmost crying when I woke up.


But at least I know that could never happen I hope. >.< Now I wanna know if people thinks I'm annoying...................Tonight theres a party I'm going to, and I hope it will be fun.

I'm getting hyper just thinking about things now A_A hahaha (weird smilie)

Days and now its winter

It snowed today so now I wanna take the buss home. for the past days life has been ok, only I realized that the more I hang out with Salman the more he can see through me. Hanna told me some stuff even though deep down I allready know. I said the same thing. =_= but I was also thinking not all people end up akward. I'm 17 now yay or so I think. I have a problem and somtimes you can't even tell your best friends.

I guess I will face the facts like I always do, when things seem wrong just fucking smile and keep you mouth shut. I took this off facebook because I had a bad feeling my family reads it.. friends don't know what I'm talking about on it because I don't tell details.

I wanna go but I don't to that party on friday it kinda sounds boring maybe it will be a waist of time for those who don't dance hmm I sha'll see about that later...Next time people ask me things I should run away from then (I won't because I like telling people things to see their reacitoin)..

Grrr

CJ is driving me slowly off a cliff. Its stress but I started fighting back with me own charm.. He said I know what you want. I was like you'll have to tell me someday I walked away. He stopped me. I never seen you this way before, pets shouldn't act like this. I told him I don't wanna be a pet >.> Stop liying to yourself, all you want is someone to tell you what to do he said..... I don't want a fool like you though. for some reason I said sorry.. and it went on etc.

So many things

I wanna take today off I really do.. The past days were fun though I went hanging out and stuff. I wanna take this day off I wanna rest and try to get some real work done I can never really do that at school.. I haven't even started on the things that should be done already. and my guitar I need to practice on it but I'm no good. people were laugh behide my back yesterday I really don't feel like going!!!!!!!! My party plans have gotten bigger there the back to school party, There is a party that I'm on the list for and the Sleepover that hanna will hold =) I'm so worried right now I'm gonna play the guitar for a bit.. I think playing guitar is really boring...

Its the time of year

My birthday is thursday.. There are super many that have their birthdays this month in my class... Arrg I hope its a good one this year. I doubt it but its nice to hope. I still have to deal with CJ its not fun! this class is the worst they want us now to make a menu grrr i hate it.


I haven't been that sad lately but I can tell this stress is building up. People are wanting to get some time with me this week I feel though that its not gonna do much good.

The charming sweet talk, leads me away to do what he says, Saying no I can not, is what I can't say.
I never feel right and my mind tells me this is wrong, Over my head hes pulling the strings,


To be continued

When things go bad, Just shut up, let it and smile.

For the past week I've been using a face cream that takes away pimples, but it feels like a sunburn for my face...It hurts...

For the past few days I have stopped eating as well as I should I figured out that my mine problem is when someone ask if I want or need anything I say no I should say yes but it hard for me to take things from people too. Its weird but I have a yes problem if don't wanna do something or say something people can get me to do anything...>.< But its not so bad, I do keep all my promises and I never lie in till I have to.. People trust me yay! Only there are some I would love to break ;)

I never really realized how close me and Salman were till we started talking about enbarrassing things.. He does annoy me but I'm not one to talk. I try my best to annoy him.. Hes one of those friends that brings the little girl out of me (hahaha) On sunday I did some thing but I'll tell later....