Am I really?

I'm so lost right now. I thought that if everyone was happy I will too... But I know I won't deep down. I really do need my friends to help me to get happiness. I feel alone more then ever now that did something changing. gehh I know its nothing everything well go up if this is down. I just have to wait it out.


I'm so worried that one day I will fall and I won't be able to get myself back up.

Wishing

Have you ever wanted to take way all the blame put it on your self and even if they hated you. You would feel that you had done good. Haha I think I'm way over my head.

Wisdom?

Wisdom or foolishness Just because I call one thing other won't. I'm quite tired of this kind of thing. I mean the way others hurt each other maybe I don't wanna see people get hurt anymore. I don't really care or I said I didn't to pretict what others think of me as strong. I just hate losing to my own weakness. but we all do it.


I know I'm just saying things that are boring and for that I'm sorry. I Like to pretend there is two side to people. One I can see by the way they act and see how they think, Then theres the other I can see this side only if the show it in there movements. I am not always right SO DO NOT TRY THIS in till you have all the facts. The hide things that they fear will get them or other people in trouble.

Some people and I for one am at high risk of losing my place. I will do anything I can not to lose the one I trust: meaning I well walk through hell just for a single soul.

All I really ask for in return is their happiness. A real smile!

If so

I cut my hair so much just like when I was living in the U.S I forgot how nice it was. but it was also somthing I didn't want it put a curse on me. Inly I would notice such though. I cute it myself ofcorse and it came out ok. I the static loves me but I hate it Oh well. I feel so inpaitonet. Wait I wounder he he reads this. Its not like have said anything worth saying.

Please!!!

On friday I will come clean the most I have ever said.. I'm scared to death.

I expect it now

I'm kinda getting dangerously depressed lately friends are good and all if they talk to you and do things. But I'm losing one so it feels the worst but I'm not surprised at all that some people can't come to thing I do anything possible just to see my friends You never know when it well be the last time.
I cut my hair so there.

I'm really tired of all this so I'm gonna go I'm listening to "I'm not going back"

Freaking out.

Theres one way out right now I can't run I have to go but its killing me. I'm so scared and embarrassed. I'm most likely stupid as hell for thinking all this. but I just wanted to make it peaceful I'm dying. I really want out. I can't just run away can I? I don't have a choice and stuff. I'm almost too preshered at the moment I know I just have to bite my tong and go there it. Beside I always say who care if I'm in pain I don't count I'm just no one for real I don't even know what my real self is.

All we are is stuff that lives and then dies I know it sounds sad but it is true. Once we die we go into nothingness I believe. All though I wish I could tell the things to people I always wanted to.

The only thing I don't get was feeling and we all every single thing has them and can sometime can not control them yet I haven't fingered out why but when I do eve it won't mean a thing. I hate it! I can't even control my emotions. I don't wanna turn out the way I know I will.

All that and I finnily broke,

No! I hate it I'm have really hard time dealing with this right now. I HATE THEM!

I never wanted that help I started to break when my teacher was saying I had to redo something. but I was already feeling bad. I can bearly handle being all alone in school. I hate this I do I'm little by little lossing my mind. I hope I do STUPID PEOPLE!

2100

Really! I havn't been here much I can tell ya all about the stupid things I done but I couldn't.
I been listening to speed and really slow music I'm freaking my self out haha.

Anyways bleeh to ya alll No I'm not drunj.