So now what?

WOW and just like that.

2010-10-03T09:17:00.000-07:00

I'm back really weird because I forgot about this blog thing. Oh well Melody (annoying)
sister said I should.. Well I did now people want picture.. What do I look like! Anyways freaking out really I am theres not much to say or think... OMG fuck,, I can't handle this kinda thing I won't make it I can't. Maybe I can I donno.

Heres this weeks photo

2010-04-03T01:21:00.000-07:00

Would you ever...
[] Push me into a wall and kiss me?
[] Come To My House To Do Nothing But Chill?
[] Slap Me?
[] Slap me if I asked you to?
[] Kiss Me?
[] Let Me Kiss You?
[] Watch A Movie With Me?
[] Take Me Out To Dinner?
[] Take A Shower With Me?
[] Take Me Home For The Night?
[] Let Me Sleep In Your Bed?
[] Take Me Anywhere With You
[] Re-post This For Me To Answer Your Questions?
[] Lock Me In Your room And Take Advantage Of Me?
[] Let me lock you in your room and Take Advantage of you?
[] Let Me Make You Breakfast?
[] Make me breakfast?
[] Tickle Me?
[] Let Me Tickle You?
[] Stick Up For Me if I Was Being Put Down?
[] Instant Message Me?
[] Greet Me In Public?
[] Hang Out With Me?
[] Hold my waist from behind while we are out?
[] Bring Me Around Your Friends?
[] Fall in love with me
[] Like me
[] Love me

Do You...
[] Miss Me?
[] Think I'm Sexy?
[] Think I'm Cute?
[] Think I'm Hot?
[] Think I'm Ok?
[] Think I'm Ugly?
[] Want To Kiss Me?
[] Want To Cuddle With Me?
[] Want To Date Me?

Am I...
[] Smart?
[] Funny?
[] Cool?
[] Lovable?
[] Adorable?
[] Great To Be With?
[] Attractive?
[] Mean?
[] Ugly?
[] Gorgeous?

Have You Ever...
[] Thought About Hooking Up With Me?
[] Found Yourself Wanting To Kiss Me Non Stop?
[] Wished I Were There?
[] Had A Crush On Me?
[] Wanted My Number?
[] Had A Dream About Me?
[] Been Distracted By Me?

Are You...
[] Happy You Know Me?
[] Thinking About Me
[] My friend?

2010-03-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

Here it comes

One normal day at America’s house. It was sunny and bright as it was around summer.

America woke feeling his normal child like grumpy-ness over him over him. The room was dem and silent.. only the sound of the birds outside was heard.

I love writing and I can't stop..

2010-03-28T11:25:00.001-07:00

You are a Clueless Uke!

Having a good time is what you're all about. You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that can be a good thing. You're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who might take advantage of you, but you probably won't even notice, or really care, as long as you're enjoying yourself.

Most compatible with: Opportunist Seme, Romantic Seme

Least compatible with: Sadistic Seme, Don't Fuck With Me Seme

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

My work of Hetalia

2010-03-24T07:12:00.000-07:00

America’s Blog

Title..
Still hungry
11:03 am.

Yeah so I started one too!
Cause if Prussia can start one so can I.
Everyone should knows how a hero live’s anyways right?
I went to Canada’s house for breakfast to have some pancakes with that maple stuff. Its really good! Canada was saying stuff about some meeting only I stopped listening. He speaks so slow and so then I left. =)

Coment:
Italy: Oh America. You started one too. I wish you luck!

Canada: Why did you leave when I was talking because that meeting is importuned. Oh and I’m not slow..

America: Ohh the comments Italy and Canada already!
Well thank you Italy! I can’t help walking away from you Canada I’m busy and your slow haha!

Title
I have an Idea!
2:39pm.

Yeah its after lunch and you never would believe who I eat with!
Hahaha Japan of course! BD
His lunch’s are always so empty so my Idea is to make his food a little more better tasting.
So I put chocolate sas on his orgiri..? umm well Rice ball things. And instead of Raw plain sushi I deep fried it. It’s the best idea ever! Haha and I think it might be a big hit.
Oh The phones ringing I hope its not Germany complaining about eco green car thing and how I should drive it more.. No way!

Japan: America-san onigiri…

Germany: You should start driving it more.

England: Stop sending me weird Ideas you git. You have to start eating more healthy and Stop trying to change other peoples food to make it your own.

America: No way you know you like them! Don’t be jealous of how cool my Ideas are.
I’m Just trying to make the food a little more awesome stupid. >(

Title
My neck hurts..
I went to the meeting witch I should have skipped altogether! Because England was fighting with France about something to do with a pole. I came up with 2 new Ideas to save the world but they all said no… Why?! My ideas are so cool. Who doesn’t want a giant robot to protects us? England said “Oh and how are we bloody hell going to put it? I swear your Ideas are going to kill us all.”

THERE!

2010-03-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

PART 6
Alfred stabbed the knife as hard is he could; although being blind with out his glasses; he missed Ivan by an inch. Ivan turned quickly around frowning at him.
“Don’t interrupt when grown ups are talking.”
A loud slap sound as Ivan hand hit Alfred in the face so hard that the knife dropped.
“Now then wha-“
Ivan stopped talking as a bang from the gun went off. After the bang it was pure silence.
Arthur took a step backwards; trembling, and shaking.
Ivan fell like a rock to the floor with his blood pouring out like a red stream running by their feet.
“I-“ Arthur was trying to pull him self together but failing.
Alfred stepped over Ivan and hugged Arthur so tight that he couldn’t even pull away. They had said nothing for 10mins wail hugging each other.
Alfred was crying on Arthurs’ shoulder and hanging on him like he did when he was younger.
Arthur was petting his head
“Shh it’s over now. Let’s get out of here.” Arthur whispered and tried to smile even though he was shaking like a leaf himself. Alfred just nodded and tried to stop the tears.

They went up the stairs and though the windmill doors.
The air so warm and calm with no wind at all.
Alfred was being held up; in the light you could see all the dried blood, bruises, and cuts.
Toris Was running over to them looking shocked about what’s happened. Alfred stopped in his tracks making Arthur stop as well.
"oh no"
Arthur said under his breath.
Toris Eyes just widened as though it juts hit him what had happened. He Ran past them calling out Ivans' name; Hoping that he would some how reply. Arthur was pulling the naked Alfred to go but he had turned to see Toris running off in the distance from witch they had came.
"Come on now. Let's go home" Arthur said softly and pulled on Alfred harder.

One Hour later-

At Arthur's house Alfred had gotten cleaned up washing all the blood away and had new clean clothes on.
"Sit down and I'll make you something to eat."
Arthur wondered to the kitchen.
Alfred didn't want to leave his side but did what he was told and sat on the couch that happen to be closest to where Arthur was. All Alfred could think was about how he wanted to know how
Toris was doing and since he didn't bother to check if Ivan had even really died.
Although he was blind and he didn't ask Arthur or had even spoken anything at all to him since they got to his house.
Alfred had tear in his eyes from all the thinking.
Arthur was doing his best to smile wail walking into the room to give Alfred some scones he just baked. One was burnt and one looked like it hadn't been cooked at all.
Alfred took a bite and and smiled "Its the best thing I ever had." Alfred made Arthur drop the other one.
"Are you ok?"
"I'm great."
Alfred jumped up to hug him. He did feel pain of all his wounds but that didn't stop him.
"Alfred.." Arthur smiled a real smile.
"I was shocked to know you'd give up your independence for me."
"I wound give up the world and all the dreams and hopes I have to know your safe" Alfred replied.

Part 6

2010-03-18T03:49:00.000-07:00

part 4

2010-03-14T00:54:00.000-08:00

Looking confused and with out asking why, Toris took his cellphone out and pressed speed dial two. (ring ring ring) "Hello?" Ivan picked up in a happy sounding voice. Arthur could hear him though the phone.
"Hello Ivan-san? I was- Yes he is. Do you wish to- Ok I understand."
Toris was avoiding Arthur's eyes. It just hit him, what Ivan was doing and why Arthur was in a hurry. "He said to come to him fast as you can if you want to see the toy again... Hes over at the cellar of the old windmill. I'm so Sorry for whats happening" Toris was saying sadly.
With out saying anything at all Arthur was running as fast he could over to the Windmill that so happen to be right behind Toris's House.

Ivan had already taken Alfreds pants off and had cut him multiple times. Although he had just gotten off the phone with Toris.
"Guess what my sweet? Your caring little Brit will be joining us today."
Ivan keeping his smile. Looking just to see Alfreds face when realized what Ivan was planning to do.
"No! Ivan don't bring him into this! If you lay one finger on him I will never forgive you!" Alfred cried. Tears running down his eyes, because he knew that it was his fault for everything that happened. "Oh my your weak spot really is the one that I'm going to torture."
Ivan said as he yawnd and walked off some where else.

Arthur suddenly charged through the door and ran down the stairs in to the cellar.
He saw his Alfred hanging there with his head down, with out Clothes, dripping blood from his amrs, legs, neck, and face. "My god Alfred. What has that monster done to you!" Arthur sort of crying as he went over to Alfred.
"Please get out of here wail you still can.." Whispered Alfred full of tears dripping off him.
"Don't be daft I have to get you out of here." Arthur said wail he was untying his hands."a-Arthur he'll come back so please go far away from here." Alfred said in a pleading voice.
Arthur ignored it and got Alfreds hands some what free.
He was staring into his eyes holding him. "Its okay, I'm here now." Arthur kept repeating.

"So I see you finally showed up. Oh how fun this will be!" Said Ivan laughing.

Thats part 4

PART3

2010-03-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

A hour later Alfred was slowly waking up. Realizing he was in a really dark place hanging by his hands agents the wall. His Shirt was gone and he had two new cuts on his cheek. He was bleeding like a peace of meat at the slaughter house.
Thinking about giving up had crossed his mind as Ivan was coming to him with the same knife that he had cut him with early in his Right hand.
"So my sweet, I see your awake now." Ivan said with a chuckled holding a cup of water in his other hand. Alfred didn't move, say anything or even bother to try and look at the mad man.
Ivan tilted up Alfreds head "This is so much fun, I never has a pet like you before"
Ivan giggled as he pored the cup of water his face. The water made all the blood run off his face and run down his shoulders.
"You not going to get way with this and I rather die then become one one with an insane freak. As soon as the others find out they will never trust or forgive you.
" Alfred smiled coldly and dead like. Ivan was raging at the words that hit him like a stab in the head. He took the knife and cut Alfred down the side of his neck.
Alfred moaned in pain as his tears fell from his soulless blue eyes, wondering when this would all end.
Ivan stopped his knife and begain licking the blood that was running out of his neck wail undoing his pants with one hand.

At that moment Arthur was running everywhere he could searching for where Ivan could be. He had asked Raivis where he was but he could not really get through to him that well. "i-I'm s-s-sorry I don't k-know today." Raivis kept repeating and shaking like he was cold outside even though it was summer.
"I guess I should try to ask Toris or..." Arthur paused. Thinking it would be insane to ask

2010-03-11T02:37:00.000-08:00

Part two!!!!!!

Alfred had no clue what to say. He had never been in a situation like this before nor asked for help, Being the one who helped was who he was.. “a-Arthur” He said shivering and breathing heavily.
Ivan got up chuckling “Tell Arthur I said hello!” The laughing Russian said. He went to poor himself a glass of vodka thinking this is and is going to get better. His devilish smile and his violet eyes gazing at Alfred to make sure he did nothing stupid.

“Alfred is that you? What’s wrong wit- oi Are you ok?! Whose that in the backgrou- Answer me you git!!” Arthur said sounding more worried with every word he spoke.
Alfred was thinking of what to say. ”Arthur I-“ The phone peeped with a low battery sign.
Ivan was somehow delighted with the fact that Alfred was in pain and suffering, along with his cell phone problems.
“Poor poor bleeding boy” Russia sang as he was sipping his vodka happily staring.

Arthur was holding his phone in shock realizing who was laughing. He knew Alfred should have listened to what he said about going to pick a fight with Ivan just like that. “Hello Hello!!” He yelled through the phone.

I'm so E_E decaring war on Japan.

2010-03-03T03:46:00.000-08:00

Anyways awesome as I am I can't help to wonder if I'm making a good chose with all this. E_E I will be back

Thats It is now a UKE SCALE

2010-02-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

1.
First of all France I know some of
things that come out of his mouth and love of see other naked.. I'm some how covinced hes a Uke but a wannabe Seme. Although he can be if he really trys.

I'm doing this randomly I donno why I put numbers.....

2. Then We have England. Hes so Uke he can't be Seme even if he Trys... But that makes everyone love him. Oh Wait!! Maybe Lativa... no wait I forgot he drinks and can become a man...

3. Yep America! I think Bethan/France is right... But I know America doesn't give up even when he knows hes beat. He has so much Pride its silly. Don't worry I won't tell.
4. China... Oh come on.......Uke

5. Last I guees I'm only doing the Allied. Umm Russia. Your so Messed up and so Seme... you could seduce the world.

Thats all for now I gotta Clean My room up more and stuff...

I live on inpluse

2010-02-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

I do I so do or else why would I do this or chat the things I do... I told My parents I'm bi Great right...? Well its just the way things go. Oh but there is a guy that I wanna get to know and I think I'm gonna get to because of my new friend. The only thing is like all Swedish people hes shy. I'm ok with the hole uke thing but I want seme
...

I'm saving this for later

2010-02-14T01:27:00.000-08:00

10 Facts about yourself:
♥ I've been in love with warm places ever sence I moved to Sweden. I mean goddamn.
♥ I can listen to anything and call it awesome everything but soul I hate soul.
♥ I go to a school thats so lazy! Its a little cool. =_=
♥ I hate math. allot.
♥ I live in Sweden and I'm American.
♥ Afraid of heights, I am.
♥ I personally don't hate any county but I feel like I don't wanna live in Sweden and I don't want to move back to the U.S
♥ THE COLOR PINK and other colors MAKES MY heart HAPPY thus I hate Valentines day.
♥ I might have a split personality. Might. Not sure.
♥ I LOVE EVERYBODY. EVERYBODY. Really, I do.

10 things you'd tell 10 people right now:
♥ I'm getting hungry.
♥ I have 20kr to last for two mounths.
♥ I might be losing my reality... O_O
♥ A cold well start if you read this.
♥ HI .
♥ Can I just hurt you a little bit so you feel how I do??
♥ C-CAN I JUST TOUCH YOU?
♥ ALRIGHT WHEN I BECOME THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD (how I will do It I dunno but, I WILL) I WILL KICK YOUR FUCKIN ASS.
♥ I read people and know what they do before they do it because, and I know just Because I say this you will have your doubts.
♥ excuse me, I love this man. |:c

7 things that cross my mind a lot:
♥ I'm hungry.
♥ Why am I doing this.
♥ OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY AM I DRAWING/WATCHING THIS.
♥ I'm hungry.
♥ Why am I thinking this.
♥ FRANCE AND ENGLAND TOGETHER!! NOWAY NOWAY E_E GOD DAMN IT.
♥ Should I get out of bed and eat.

6 people who mean a lot to me at the moment (no special order):
♥ umm ehh.
♥ People.
♥ people.
♥ people.
♥ maybe famliy.
♥ Tiffany.

5 songs I listen to a lot lately:
♥ Vocaloid :Alice Human Sacrifice.
♥ America :Hamburger Street.
♥ Gothic Nelord. Its just sooo goooood. A_A
♥ Melody's ramblings.
♥ Weird Al?.

Tag 5 people:
I
Well
not
Do
That

私と踊ってください

2010-02-03T04:02:00.000-08:00

Thats right! 愛しています maybe. Its really hard writing in Japanese on the computer.

Well its hard with out too. I think I'm getting better though. Oh but thats all the fun of it I sopose. I been listing to Hetalia cds so I can get better.. They have no texts so I have to look them up... That reaminds me I gotta download all hetalia eps

私はあなたたちみんなを憎みます! But you know I don't I only feel like that for a min. 私が欲する唯とは愛されることである Not so bad right...

AMERICA!!!

2010-02-02T04:48:00.000-08:00

Yep I'm a super nerd for Hetalia I always will... I lost my cellphone so I can't contact people much. XD Its bad but in away I can't help to feel happy. Must be the smell of chips in the air...or I got my mom to get order a Cosplay outfit for Aprils Upcon.. I here theres gonna be a hetalia meet up and ofcouse I wanna go I'm Gonna be America and Melody is gonna be Hungry... It suits her. Well then theres my update of Feb for now.

I still hate school and want what I can't have... At least I can still smile and say I wish they'd just die =) That and I want an AXE or a water Pipe....

Am I really?

2010-01-25T01:37:00.000-08:00

I'm so lost right now. I thought that if everyone was happy I will too... But I know I won't deep down. I really do need my friends to help me to get happiness. I feel alone more then ever now that did something changing. gehh I know its nothing everything well go up if this is down. I just have to wait it out.

I'm so worried that one day I will fall and I won't be able to get myself back up.

Wishing

2010-01-24T11:44:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to take way all the blame put it on your self and even if they hated you. You would feel that you had done good. Haha I think I'm way over my head.

Wisdom?

2010-01-23T08:18:00.000-08:00

Wisdom or foolishness Just because I call one thing other won't. I'm quite tired of this kind of thing. I mean the way others hurt each other maybe I don't wanna see people get hurt anymore. I don't really care or I said I didn't to pretict what others think of me as strong. I just hate losing to my own weakness. but we all do it.

I know I'm just saying things that are boring and for that I'm sorry. I Like to pretend there is two side to people. One I can see by the way they act and see how they think, Then theres the other I can see this side only if the show it in there movements. I am not always right SO DO NOT TRY THIS in till you have all the facts. The hide things that they fear will get them or other people in trouble.

Some people and I for one am at high risk of losing my place. I will do anything I can not to lose the one I trust: meaning I well walk through hell just for a single soul.

All I really ask for in return is their happiness. A real smile!

If so

2010-01-21T00:38:00.000-08:00

I cut my hair so much just like when I was living in the U.S I forgot how nice it was. but it was also somthing I didn't want it put a curse on me. Inly I would notice such though. I cute it myself ofcorse and it came out ok. I the static loves me but I hate it Oh well. I feel so inpaitonet. Wait I wounder he he reads this. Its not like have said anything worth saying.

Please!!!

2010-01-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

On friday I will come clean the most I have ever said.. I'm scared to death.

I expect it now

2010-01-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda getting dangerously depressed lately friends are good and all if they talk to you and do things. But I'm losing one so it feels the worst but I'm not surprised at all that some people can't come to thing I do anything possible just to see my friends You never know when it well be the last time.
I cut my hair so there.

I'm really tired of all this so I'm gonna go I'm listening to "I'm not going back"

Freaking out.

2010-01-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

Theres one way out right now I can't run I have to go but its killing me. I'm so scared and embarrassed. I'm most likely stupid as hell for thinking all this. but I just wanted to make it peaceful I'm dying. I really want out. I can't just run away can I? I don't have a choice and stuff. I'm almost too preshered at the moment I know I just have to bite my tong and go there it. Beside I always say who care if I'm in pain I don't count I'm just no one for real I don't even know what my real self is.

All we are is stuff that lives and then dies I know it sounds sad but it is true. Once we die we go into nothingness I believe. All though I wish I could tell the things to people I always wanted to.

The only thing I don't get was feeling and we all every single thing has them and can sometime can not control them yet I haven't fingered out why but when I do eve it won't mean a thing. I hate it! I can't even control my emotions. I don't wanna turn out the way I know I will.

All that and I finnily broke,

2010-01-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

No! I hate it I'm have really hard time dealing with this right now. I HATE THEM!

I never wanted that help I started to break when my teacher was saying I had to redo something. but I was already feeling bad. I can bearly handle being all alone in school. I hate this I do I'm little by little lossing my mind. I hope I do STUPID PEOPLE!

2100

2010-01-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

Really! I havn't been here much I can tell ya all about the stupid things I done but I couldn't.
I been listening to speed and really slow music I'm freaking my self out haha.

Anyways bleeh to ya alll No I'm not drunj.

You tell Lies!!

2009-12-29T00:53:00.000-08:00

Yep its pretty crazy now seem like everyones got couples fever.. Haha but I never been one for searching for love. I find if you don't look it will come to you instead.

I'm really tierd but use to it. I can't say anything much more here I write down the stuff in my new and shiny journal. Its really cute Chinese writing on it.

EVE

2009-12-24T00:57:00.000-08:00

Now then I guess its some what Christmas umm I'm not too into it but I guess Ps3 a new hair-straightener a pig and Sinsei book is great.. I shall injoy the stuff

Its coming

2009-12-17T11:08:00.000-08:00

umm well I guess I know what I'm gonna do for it I wanna hand out so much with people more then ever. Its hard to do when everyones running round. I shouldn't care so much though.

I wanna get a job super much in a cafe but I'm afraid to ask just like that. Waaaaaaa

I HATE THEM ALL!! I don't.....

Not again

2009-12-11T11:14:00.000-08:00

I know it sounds bad and all. Still why the hell did this happen? It only happens to the likes of me.. Well I guess its always been my fault. >.< Damnit! gehhh I will get past it I always do. Boys ARE stupid!!!!!!!

I fear nothing.

2009-12-08T11:02:00.000-08:00

I got a paper cut haha. It hurts but I don't care about myself in pain. It was very nice or so it seems people in my class are nice to me even though I don't really have a clue.

I'm in the mood to go somewhere but I don't have the money Oh crap gotta buy gifts for friends and Erik! Theres never enough!! Kevins on gotta talk to that guy ;)

Someones making me angry...Probably just because we use to be close and now we drifted away. I can never win with some people =) But things are never as they seem. ehhh

wait...............ing for his answer I'm dieing. Just think if it goes right. I never believe in happy endings. -.-

I love the thought of hope

2009-11-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

I love the oldies music. I offen wonder if I was made for more like the 40's 60's maybe. I'm so in over my head right now I can't stop anlizing people how they smile how they dress.. I know its know good to pry though. This girl at school named Frida puts up a plastic smile more then I do. Ok anyway The news for my grades and how I'm getting along with my new class its all ok. EVERYTHING is ok.. Hmm there's only two people who stood up saying "No you aren't!" To those peoples I can only say Your smart but don't get ahead of what I tell you in person.

not really

2009-11-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I start in art so I can hardly wait or breath. I was kinda down just a min ago for the fact that I'm like some girl in some book and even though some things are the same,,Some things are not! I just have to find a reason.

Well I guess things are going a little ok right now witch means something well go wrong.
I'm not crazy I just know how the world works. With my health in the way and taking the pill that makes me do better in school but not for my heart. So its ether be normal and I make make my self study like other people, or I can I can not take it and not risk my heart rate going to fast. ether way I lose; ehh I'm getting paranoid To me people play to many head games..Well I guess I kind of start them >.< Standing on my toe's Smile, behave stay quite but not silent. So many things to remember. The only reason I'm still writing here is because.....

Don't say no

2009-11-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

I took the "Find my way pill" today so I feel out of place. My mouth feels dry and my hearts beating fast for no reason. Gotta pull myself together, tomorrow will be scary but it might help if just a little bit.

Did he fall in fove with me?!

2009-11-17T07:50:00.000-08:00

The text message scared me. I can see through it,

guy: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Me: "nope"
Guy: "ok ;)"
Me: "why"
Guy: "I'm as cute as you are I'm surprised you don't have one"
Me: "thanks"
Guy: "are you doing anything Friday?"

I just goes on like that. >.< Ok I'm not sure what to do about it.
I have alot of problems right now, besides him, I now have to deal with my mom and her threats to take me to a Doctor about my weight.

Should I follow my head or heart?
I wanted to say for a long time but I'm a little Bi. *few* I thought I wouldn't be able to say it here, I guess it don't matter to much.

I may be stuck in one place, but I'm trying my best!

Blury eyes

2009-11-17T02:07:00.000-08:00

Right now my heart doesn't feel right. I took that pill today so now I feel like bleh.

I can't write much because theres too much to say.

Ya know?

2009-11-16T10:37:00.000-08:00

Its only weird faze it has to be. I mean theres >.< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_s9Zk_XDXlP4/SwGfwuyjb_I/AAAAAAAAACY/-Zh7eVHtDaM/s1600/4823.gif">thing more in life. Only some days I feel like dieing but then if I do people will be hurt I know they will and all but then I think if I keep living isn't this like I'm already dead. I guess I just bored of life. My gang has quit as a gang I asked why..>.> CJ said he has too many problems to take care of every thing like that right now. So no more jobs for me I guess. Any how lately I been drinking energy drinks they do make me hyper and people say they arent good for me. Well I know all that they do taste good though.

I wonder sometimes if I should keep writing on this thing because I only write as what I feel right when I feel it I always regret what I say after --> I'm giving someone a break right now chating wise. I think this time I will just stop trying.. That gets you nowhere, I will move my game plan.

Max came over today and played games, and I got to pratice on my guitar some. I haven't done it in a long time but I'm making myself do it every day. I gotta try my best right? ^^

umm

2009-11-15T11:35:00.000-08:00

Nope-ish I think life is fun only My heart is still telling me to end it. I will in spring, so I wanna have fun wa'll I can.

Here I go.

2009-11-11T10:53:00.000-08:00

Lately I haven't seen him on I'm gonna say something so this awkward moment goes away. umm I hope it goes well.>.< Damnit anytime now.... uhh I did it now I'm dieing because I'm bad this is bad My fears coming true I won't be able to shake it this time. I chosen my time my place how is easy.

off track

2009-11-10T23:45:00.000-08:00

Yep nothing says fail when even friends don't work. Its happend before, I was able to fix it, but now I don't know if I can...If my thoughts are correct. I have a PTA. tomorrow so I'm just hoping I won't cry in it..Its happned before. I'm gonna go see Fia today so I should be ok I think...>.>

I feel so stupid

2009-11-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

I hate this world and how right I am. I knew he would blow me off at the last minute. T_T I regret it. I always feel so alone People wanted to hang out and I said no because he was gonna come so now I feel stupid!!
It fucking serves me right to have believed in him in the first place. This is why I don't trust people....I can't stop my stupid tears now.

They make me feel so bad, The worst part I'm breaking and all I can think about is how nice it would be if I just died.. I don't have anyone I can talk to about how I feel, So I always end up bottling up my bad, sad emotions :.( I should have listened to myself and went with Fia..........I feel so empty at school, now at home? whf its so pose to be one or the other not both!

yep I'm late

2009-11-04T03:33:00.000-08:00

I should write more. Ok for the past week its been fun I had threes partys to with more of my tougher friends and one with my good old juging freinds.. I love the people. Any way as partys go there all good. I'm sitting in class tonight I gotta git the FC I can't forget or be lazy grr.

I have been writing in my school books more then here, but thats only because I get bored super much in class. Its easyer writing stuff in it. I men I can write down all my thoughts. like umm I love fall and leafs I like that I got a new band just by saerching for random things. Its not bad being obbsessed with thing but its not good eather. I wish Hanna would tell me when the halloween thing was....I should get in video camra! I hope this class ends soon then I can go home.

Its always so boring on days like this omg I gotta ask what he ment!! O.O its probley a bad habbit what I'm doing but right now I don't mind>.< Damnit he said something...........Boring boring boring. The people are too noicy. I never speak to anyone inless they speak to me.

I wear my headphone all day I don't turn them off, and I know its sad Its been along time I havn't made any friends here.. The worst thing is I know some of them know I'm falling apart and feel sorry for me.

I don't get it much... I make friend easy but only in english, really easy too but when I speak swedish I die. >.> When I was little I use to say "I'm gonna run away somday and I won't look back". now days it wouldn't work out even if I trided. I care too much for people.

I do understand why so many teens kill them selfs here though. Its tough being alone. But they are selfsh too, becauseits not fair that someone has to go through losing some one just because your tired of life and you think its too hard.. Besides NO ONE SHOULD DIE ALONE!

EVERYTHING!

2009-10-29T04:55:00.000-07:00

My days have been great so now I'm waiting for a storm to drop by. Its really peaceful right now for me, only I don't mind if I got around to see people today. Oh well another day maybe, I hate sounding like I'm depressant for company. behh I got some money but I got to stop spending so fast. I'm out I gotta download my games back.

zzzzzzz

2009-10-25T01:52:00.000-07:00

Not much going on to day I guess I'll see what CJs up even though its not good If I get pulled back in but I hate going shopping alone. Its really lonely!! Sunday morning is playing by No Doubt.

What should I do?? I hate asking people I do it sometimes but end up getting no or people flake out right before I go... Its troublesome to find close good friends. I found out Tokio Hotel is gonna come to Sweden. and I should go but again I always end up alone last time I took a chance and asked random girl when it started and got to join them. I hate going to thing myself for real.

For real I'm not jealous of people because I see every one the same but with different lifes... Only one person I envy because she has a good clean nothing wrong life at all. She could climb trees and was nice to every one she was my first best friend before I knew anyone anywhere. I don't really remember her name, but I mean it was a long time ago and She moved away. I never saw her again....>.> I said to myself never again well I let that happen it hasn't happened yet anyways.

I well give it to say 2 then I'll go alone or not, well see.

Geez too much for me

2009-10-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

There so many things I wanna say but I can't. Now that I think about it my week is all the same but with different details and such.

Ring Ring Ring

2009-10-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

I still more of the line hate my school its soo boring I can't find my place like this >.< Most of the time I'm clueless about everything thats going on.. The people are mean but I'm use to it so it not much of a problem.

I wanna hang out today but I'm narvous about it, Fia has my wallet and I have her pig so I need this meet up.I really want someone to talk to today anyways. Alot happend to me this week. First I almost got ran over but this time it wasn't my fault it was red light. I swear I was 2enchs away from it. I though about what if I was hit, What would that do to people?

But that don't matter so much to me now. I feel like a baka =_= I can't do much about that, I seem to get in messes then not out of them. Tooth is hurting........ hungry..... Ok I'm out

Zomg

2009-10-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

He Knows but hes playing hide and seek EX. I just wish sometimes I knew what he was thinking.
I guess I gotta wait till the times right. I really crave his attention. >.< I've fallen in love for the song Last Night on Earth. umm thats all I can say because like I said its hide and seek, and I wont lose ;)

Time for fun

2009-10-16T01:19:00.000-07:00

Sleep is hard when you keep having scary dreams T.T I had a dream I was in bonland and and Fia and Salman came... Fia said "Your not to come near me again" and salman was saying all the things I did was annoying and he said I should change and be like normal girls. T.T I haven't had a dream like that before..... I was allmost crying when I woke up.

But at least I know that could never happen I hope. >.< Now I wanna know if people thinks I'm annoying...................Tonight theres a party I'm going to, and I hope it will be fun.

I'm getting hyper just thinking about things now A_A hahaha (weird smilie)

Days and now its winter

2009-10-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

It snowed today so now I wanna take the buss home. for the past days life has been ok, only I realized that the more I hang out with Salman the more he can see through me. Hanna told me some stuff even though deep down I allready know. I said the same thing. =_= but I was also thinking not all people end up akward. I'm 17 now yay or so I think. I have a problem and somtimes you can't even tell your best friends.

I guess I will face the facts like I always do, when things seem wrong just fucking smile and keep you mouth shut. I took this off facebook because I had a bad feeling my family reads it.. friends don't know what I'm talking about on it because I don't tell details.

I wanna go but I don't to that party on friday it kinda sounds boring maybe it will be a waist of time for those who don't dance hmm I sha'll see about that later...Next time people ask me things I should run away from then (I won't because I like telling people things to see their reacitoin)..

Grrr

2009-10-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

CJ is driving me slowly off a cliff. Its stress but I started fighting back with me own charm.. He said I know what you want. I was like you'll have to tell me someday I walked away. He stopped me. I never seen you this way before, pets shouldn't act like this. I told him I don't wanna be a pet >.> Stop liying to yourself, all you want is someone to tell you what to do he said..... I don't want a fool like you though. for some reason I said sorry.. and it went on etc.

So many things

2009-10-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

I wanna take today off I really do.. The past days were fun though I went hanging out and stuff. I wanna take this day off I wanna rest and try to get some real work done I can never really do that at school.. I haven't even started on the things that should be done already. and my guitar I need to practice on it but I'm no good. people were laugh behide my back yesterday I really don't feel like going!!!!!!!! My party plans have gotten bigger there the back to school party, There is a party that I'm on the list for and the Sleepover that hanna will hold =) I'm so worried right now I'm gonna play the guitar for a bit.. I think playing guitar is really boring...

Its the time of year

2009-10-06T02:37:00.000-07:00

My birthday is thursday.. There are super many that have their birthdays this month in my class... Arrg I hope its a good one this year. I doubt it but its nice to hope. I still have to deal with CJ its not fun! this class is the worst they want us now to make a menu grrr i hate it.

I haven't been that sad lately but I can tell this stress is building up. People are wanting to get some time with me this week I feel though that its not gonna do much good.

The charming sweet talk, leads me away to do what he says, Saying no I can not, is what I can't say.
I never feel right and my mind tells me this is wrong, Over my head hes pulling the strings,

To be continued

When things go bad, Just shut up, let it and smile.

2009-10-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

For the past week I've been using a face cream that takes away pimples, but it feels like a sunburn for my face...It hurts...

For the past few days I have stopped eating as well as I should I figured out that my mine problem is when someone ask if I want or need anything I say no I should say yes but it hard for me to take things from people too. Its weird but I have a yes problem if don't wanna do something or say something people can get me to do anything...>.< But its not so bad, I do keep all my promises and I never lie in till I have to.. People trust me yay! Only there are some I would love to break ;)

I never really realized how close me and Salman were till we started talking about enbarrassing things.. He does annoy me but I'm not one to talk. I try my best to annoy him.. Hes one of those friends that brings the little girl out of me (hahaha) On sunday I did some thing but I'll tell later....

I'm getting paranoid

2009-09-27T04:50:00.000-07:00

I am about this stupid blog, Only I don't wanna stop it just because some people I might not want to read this does. I don't mind tell people like this what I think but if they start talking about it in public then I might not enjoy it so much.

Don't expect me to tell you how I feel, in fact if you ask I will most likely say I donno or I'm great.

I just remembered the promise that I made him. How silly he wants to know a promise that I want to break... I might not tell him but I might too.. I have a habit of telling something but they always want to know more. Oh and I failed at getting an a wow account, some things were not meant for someone like me. I think I will take a nap from all this, I don't wanna get caught by my mom , she'll wake me up and say your not gonna sleep through the night. I don't care sleep is my friend.

Cabin trip

2009-09-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

First it was such a nice day, really sunny and warm. Me and Sophia met up at like 12 and went to the buss that like took us to the woods. So we walked and it was long then we got there no one was there to claim it so we put our stuff there. We went back for the others. The people that were to come were there, but some of them took off anyway, I still got gifts... Yay! so we hung out and I told some stupid thing I regret because if people want me tell them something its hard to say no. I never say noo, Well I do but it doesn't get very far.... We made a cave type thing it was really weird and fun, Oh yeah we did eat some hot dags before that. =)

Then when we woke up we laughed, ate and cleaned up the place. ( when I say we I mean Fia) then we walked out of the woods and said our goodbyes. On the buss I was super tired but I hung on as long as I could... I just came home took a nice shower and now I will take nap..

SLEEPY TIME!

What if

2009-09-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

So it been some time ago sents I said any thing here...=_= Hanna reads it now... Oh will I guess its just as well. Yesterday was fun it reamed me of old time super much! We went back to the old school said hello and stuff then I went to hang out with Fia and turtle we got waffles.. I get so hyper when I eat alot of suger its nice, because it makes me happy. Tomrrow I some how think its gonna be troublesom... People are not gonna like to walk that far. Lucky though Fia will come early and help me check the place out..

I have two history type thing to write but they can wait... I hope it doesn't rain because if so... I donno.

I still dislike my school but I like Markus and anna.... Anna has crush on me I think. O.O I'll tell more later on that.

I was thinking

2009-09-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

I was thinking what he said... He said if I wanted to to do something like jump off I should talk to him.. But I can't really be sad when I talk to him I'm not allowed. I somtimes wonder if peopel read this would they know what I'm talking about,

I guess it doesn't matter too much yesterday I cut myself so deep its still hurting but it is a release
I can't help myself...somtime when I get really depressed- It will just git worse..

I finlly broke

2009-09-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

I broke and it was just that my mom asked whats wrong... I shut everything in when I'm sad or angry. She came in I could have held it in if she would have went away but she didn't I brok in to tears she saw the cuts on my shoulder I thought I was doomed. but it wasn't that bad she said that if I hated school then I could take a brake from it.... I'll bring this up later

I'm shaking

2009-09-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid of being left alone.... I don't know what to do I really don't. My heart tells me to give up.

I shouldn't be selfish though. It doesn't matter if they don't care right? tonights culture night but I feel like I won't get to be with anyone.. It hurts though. the sadness is alot. Hanna said just ask rebacca if you can hang out with them but I always had a feeling they never really like me. I guess I will go....

No I can't be around town seen with no one its lonely and I would want to get hit by a train...I can't expect people to save me....I'm not allowed to be sad!!! I'm the worst screw up ever nothing will go right for me I really can already tell whats going to happen.

Its almost 3 my eyes are watering but that doesn't matter.

This class is boring

2009-09-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

Really we hae to saurch for things thats all I shall fail anyway sents it all in swedish. Oh will

Let's get these teen hearts beating faster.....lol

2009-09-07T09:03:00.001-07:00

What a good song... Today I was on the edge of losing it I started to cry in math class. At least no on saw me.n We took pics witch I couldn't bring myself to smile...Oh will. How ever when math tarted I got to know a girl named Anna I thing it was. umm she was talking to me I was surprised because no one does. The this guy named I don't remember. I guess today wasn't that scary maybe its turning around for me.

I saw this really cute emo guy painting the hall and he caught my eye like he was interested. I wanna find him again.... Right now I wonder what I will do. I'm thinking about watching ecchi anime or horror might do as well

The smile

2009-09-06T02:14:00.000-07:00

I was strong yesterday. I invited at least one person over and well it was for math but really don't like math. at least I did lean some things. I know though I well do most of it from the back of the book.

Anyways We were just hanging out played some games. I am the worst at games but there still fun.
We talked so serious that I almost was about to crack. I smile even if I'm talking about death I smile. Then it got late I walked him up to the main road. He hugged me I guess it well take some time before I get use to hugging. Then I got my computer taken away till Monday but when I woke up it was back so I went on and started writing in the blog . Weird people make up your mind....

Its weird when he was walking away I got a tear in my eye.... weird

Everything is fine I guess

2009-09-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Its nice to be brave and stuff...

I'm still here.

2009-09-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm still here and I seem to be alive even though it doesn't seem like it. My eyes look really dead and tired. I am infact relly tired I didn't sleep much last night my 8balls fault. I was asking it Well I do good at school tomorrow? It said I have my doubts, I asked will things be better for me in the futuer? Are you kidding! Will have to end it all? Yes ... Its an evil 8ball anyway I really wonder if I can do this.......

I'm trying my best just to take care of myself alone. I wonder if I lied yesturday? I did say I would never kil my self becouse I had them but I mean this place makes me feel so down I feel like crying even though I would never in such a place, where I am now. I guess I well have to chat with my friends agian tonight. I will gather my strangth......

Just thinking about it makes me smile. However the bullies are allways so troublesom nothing I can't handle though.
I have been trying not to skip classses so much..

I really hope that I get away from here....
I really hope that see people over the week. I need them or else I can't fix myself.
I'm trying to fix myself just to break agian.

I am displeased

2009-09-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

displeased about the fact that I can't beat their score. I well when I get to a slow computer or that hack......... geez I wonder what I'm gonna do next.....I should invite somone over but... the problems like it always is..

Ya know when I I younger I siad I would never cut myself what good does it do.. I realize now that it makes me less and less sad but I worry I might have horrible scars on my back.

I'm really tired of this life. All I can do is daydream this life away.. I put my self in another place with people that really do care and I never have to beg for their attention. Insted of my friends making me feel worse it gets better............Thats all I really want

Nice ending

2009-09-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to math...yay I went to go hang out with Fifi in the tea club it was nice they had a weird sausage tea.. Any way I was a little nervis to go in because I said what if they don't remeber me then as we walked in one of them yelled Pathkiller is here.. My name is pretty cool there. I got to meet Olaf (I donno how to spell it) Hes tiny but he was nice. For some reason I just wanna pat his head and give him a cookie. Well It seen like I have met and made friends at the Katta school but not at my own.. they were say Boland sucks. I agree though,

There is noway to change now though I well live through my mistakes..
Anyway I was on my way home or at least to the buss stop when I was suddenly asked "Do you speak english!" I said yeah and then he shook my hand and kept asking me things.

Although a little confused why he just started talking to me I remained friendly just going along with this.. He was weird He had curly red hair and beard he had a white hat on too. for some reason he knew I lived in Salabaka. umm then my buss came I hopped on and went home...

I'm ok right?

2009-09-02T03:12:00.000-07:00

I still think about my old class all the time I wonder what there up to and how weird that I never see them that much.
In a way it sucks here at this school I feel so out of place its not even funny. I even the my lucker were no one else has theres. They ran out of places..... I have no freinds So I don't talk much inless I have to. I am on the school computer there so slow I think I should just bring my own... I happan to be skiping the next class but I have a good reason this time. Maybe I should go home now?

No one will notice if I leave or stay. Its really troublesom to be lonely. I really hate it here. I never ever wanna go to the lunch hall ever. I heard from somone that Ingrd wants to change schools.. I know nothing much about her though I never talk to her anymore. I'm thinking nest wensday I skip that day because I mean gym computer and math is so empty.

All I have to do is make my self do the math work at home and try my best at Swedish... I well need tons of help but I will Get maybe Sophia to help when ever I try to ask for help for Salman he sounds annoyed so I just dont that much plus that guy plays wow way too much. When I do get the trangth to ask anything I well seldom do it agian.

Well I think I well sneak out of here its really cold in here.

I'm abotu to lose it I think

2009-08-31T08:32:00.000-07:00

I wear a bracelet on my arm to control my sad emotions so I never have to show my weakness and go through the staring eyes. But I was about to brake in class I don't really know why. I now hate and dread going to school I Lost something today too. Something that I kept scene ever. I I just know I will slip up with all this thats going on. Theres nowhere I can go to be alone.

I can never let out any tears like this last time I waited like this I allmost jumped. I hate that I can't talk to people. Whats wrong with me and why is my heart hurting??

I'm use to it...

2009-08-29T23:38:00.000-07:00

Really last night was fun I saw a movie with people only I have to the movie was boring. Then we all didn't know what to do so we all went around for the busses people took. Although I have to walk most of the time.

well then I was just walking with Salman. Geez he wants to know way to much plus I told yet again something I regret already. I can never say what I wanna say though talking about love you know I don't like it..well when I have to talk it doesn't work I can't say much anymore.

I try to block everything out so when I have to think about it I'm not prepared. Yeah.... I guess I hide my fears very well... Somtimes when all though thoughts come bake I do break inside I'm not the robot you think I am. But I am use to being this way now I can't show tears I maybe never well intill one day I held it to long then I break in half and I can't fix my self anymore then what? Then I just.............

triple baka

2009-08-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

I am stupid for telling such a thing.. It doesn't count if it hasn't been week How come I'm only good at keeping secrets if they are not mine...ehh I need to work on keeping my mouth shot but some things slip out I guess..

I would writ more in detail if I could keep this only on here in the first place.. I'm not going to give up on making friends yet. I need they to survive school...I am not a good loner cuz I get lost way to much.

I look to the bright side and know that do have good friends and chocolate---=)

The nightmare

2009-08-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

It feels like when I'm in school lost it all one big dreams but I can never wake up from. I'm dieing of loneliness. I feel so bad for hating it there and I feel worse for being jealous of the others in there schools not having any trouble at school... empty empty empty ect. I hope that it gets better but odds are I well be that ghost that you see but you well never notice....

I feel this welll be harder and harder over time..I want some one to save me I have math but I can't pull my self to do it.

Great fun! =)

2009-08-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

So may Saturday started out me waking up Going to Gränby helping my friend Salman to find a nice gift for Sophia... Earrings are always nice. Then I went to his place to see his new kitten.. It was so damn cute It looked like my old cat^-^ anyway then all of a sudden we went to meet up with Gustav and Alan it was scary at first but there funny guys and it not akaword so much as it use to be with Gustav anymore so yay.

Yeah so then Akash came and we got on the train tothe Sophia house. It was great I didn't Have to pay for the train that time.. So we got there and it was like us then Hanna showed up. Shes fun because she is almost as weird as me. As Night went on we played things, went out and got to call someone ugly. After it it was 10 something Me Salman Gustav said we don't wanna go home so lets sleep here. So we did!

Oh yeah I met a guy Named Steven. He is such a nice guy. (He bowed to me)
He like Amine he says Damn it alot lol.. I hope to become good friends with him.

So like Akash Hanna and Alan went away. We watched a movie Silent Hill but I think with out the guys talking and making fun of it I would have falling asleep on poor Salman. Hes a wuss for scary movies but it wasn't scary then we went to the bed and.... I well skip that part.

When we went to sleep it was 4 something and so when I woke up we all did and talked some more. We eat some lift over cake and yeah some time Gustav and Salman went home then. Steven came over again and we went to his house and back and played Happy dance game... That was pretty much it till I went home a eat some food.. And here I am

I hate it!!

2009-08-18T07:54:00.000-07:00

I really hate taking those pills....

I don't care if they make me a better student. I lose wight and when I come home I can do anything allmost not even watch anime or play gaia..plus it makes me feel so bad that I have tears in eyes and I can't help it..

It makes me think too much about things that I hide away. It makes me realize how lonely I feel.
At the school I'm now going to. I feel like an out cast already.. but its only the first day. It could get better right?

I can't help to feel envies of Sophia and Hanna.. They get the chance to see each other and Say what they want to the others and make new friends....Its all in english too.
I think this is what they call left out..

I don't wanna give up though I wanna make friends too!
Only I don't want to lose my old ones just because I'm in another school. I don't know why I'm still crying. Its not that bad I like my class, there nice and most of them like hard rock.....but there still all in groups I have no place in groups for real if its 5 or more people.

I always run away..I hope that I well be and take part soon, maybe if its just a couple of words.

Thats all for this week

try not to be so negative

2009-08-15T06:59:00.000-07:00

Thats what people tell me... I guess I can't help it I also have a huge trust problem now days I got hacked to prove it.. I play Gaiaonline.. I'm super scared to go to school in the swedish place I have bad dreams about it-_- but I guess or hope it won't be that bad.

We have some Italy type people coming over yay -_- Well I guess it can't be helped

One week left

2009-08-11T04:17:00.000-07:00

Till school I haven't been on much but its still all ok for now

D'esprairsRay

2009-07-24T20:56:00.001-07:00

First off normal day got ready then went. I was a loner at first then I made a new friends.
We went in side it was dark I forgot my money. I got to write stuff for the band I wrote Hi! My name is Audrey Come back soon.. They came out I was at the front people were more violante then the Nyappy concert. I saw them come out I was by the guitar player. then they played I got pushed around to much in the front So I moved to the other side I jumped around with my devil horns in the air head banging too.. I was by the bass player. He is so hot. I couldn't see the singer from that side but I didn-t need to I had the bass player people screamed so did I though

The bass player sprayed us with water from his mouth..Nice right? Its just like a kiss lol I kiss them any-day. Today I well go to Stockholm again with Hanna Lara and Akash I think YES!! Theres a Loppies for Lolita Yay see ya

Herry Potter

2009-07-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah I just had seen herry potter it was ok. they skipped some of my favorite parts in it...They could of added more I thought Oh well...

Oh yeah I have a new computer its awesome but hard to learn how to use-_- I'm happy about it though Tomorrow We plan on going to the boat and horse back riding.. It could be fun I guess I wish my friends would come back I wanna do things anything would be nice.. thats all for now because still working on the computer..

nope

2009-07-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

boring week at home

Down to the south and back again....

2009-07-12T02:25:00.000-07:00

It was nice to get away from it all with friends and some family I.n the car up there was troublesom I had a Melody with her big head on my lap the hole time... when we got there we eat just hanging out and watch'n So you think you can dance and stuff we went to bed after that

next day played guitar hero but I will tell now I suck I am worst I will always be.... We played sing star I'm good at that at least.. days went on I watched naruto and I swam in a beach it was really wavy and cold but ok for me I guess I saw sea cows on the last day and we went back home

I hope we pick up are cats soon

I feel somthing

2009-07-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here I have made up my mind but in a way I think how stupid I am. In burger king they have the sas rack and I get the Mexican kind. I pay the 5kr I do really and they may not always see it that's what drives me nuts because I realize I could take the sas with out paying grrr thay throw them away a lot maybe... I should start... but then I will become more like my friend (nick name) theif...

My friends are never alike I have the ones that well steal and drink and stuff like that. Then I have the nice people that don't mind hanging out with the too nice people get on my nerves. I think its time for me to find more outcast I befriend the outcast types because its better then going up to a group...

I'm looking for love thats what I want and I will find somone new if it kills me!! but the right kind of guy..

The 24th well be the best or so I hope I should know better then geting my hopes up but at least I get to go see another consert..

I well be off for a week I'm going to a summer house with some peoples.......

I well be back maybe tomorrow.

No hope

2009-07-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

I got done with the summer school I have every reason to believe that I failed. It so happens all that work is for nothing. My memory doesn't like math. I'm so fucked I can feel the storm coming.

My computer broke so now I have to get a new one and the best part I gotta get all my music back.....*sigh' I wounder why what else will happen next....

Besides from that I'm bored...

Crap...

Boat

2009-06-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

So I am a Metel fan I love J rock most I guess there voices are nice... Dir en grey, Malice Mizer, An Cafe (they do play rock somtimes haha)..Theres more but I'm too laze to write them up..

'I should charge a phone.... I have much to do...

Oh yeah I got a letter saying you get to be in Boland(spelling is off) *sigh* I knew it from the start but still. I see every thing in the worst light so I wont be let down. It works most of the time..

I'm trying to find the coolest blogs to read but It seems hard to do I cleck random and come to some spanish or french blog.. try try again

Weird.....

2009-06-30T02:19:00.000-07:00

I love that i have to wake up at 7.00 tits the best =_= really though I might die or be late next time...

In other news I think I well get a tickit to see D’EspairsRay I don't know them that well but i have wanted too go and see them. I'm a little worried that I lot of big weirdos come and stand in my way.. I well go earlyer hahaha and show them all.

Wafflesss............

So he died

2009-06-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

I really liked him too.. I even had small tears in my eyes I guess the thought of him and his fan made me sad. Back

Hanging out

to life though I was hanging out with Sophia and turtle last night we went swimming we walked and talked and played sims 3 . next on my list will be to hang out with Purple.

yeah not much else to say only that I want a summer job and I will get one after the summer school thing says I fail...

I found a new place.....

2009-06-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

Those who don't know me I'm Audrey I use to have a blog somewhere else...it was no good so now I'm here.

I have to say my eyes are killing me at the moment...oh will I'm just trying it out. The truth I I don't want people I know for real to read this its better that they don't... here's somthing I posted some time ago...

Sneak attack

START END OF THE LOVE THAT CAN'T
Yeah here it is fist real day of summer break and I feel as though I will be back with my class tomorrow.Sigh-- I wanna stop time I hate it I really just want it to stop but yeah thats life I wanna hang out with them just one more time..... Its weird my heart is hurting alot.

DEATH WISH
My summer has began and summer school became a reality. to tell the truth if I don't make it in the Stockholm english school I might as will end it. I don't wanna go to a swedish school. I won't have anything else to live for. my freinds will make new friends and my shyness really sucks around swedish kids there mean. I can't handle it.

I WANT TO BE......
Is it weird to want to be treated like a kid somtimes. I like it.
But if I have to or if someone I know who is more of a kid then me I will act my age.

I wanna be a theif but something is holding me back. I think I know why too.
END
I don't know when I well write back who knows